The Letter
by TT-5
Summary: In times of war all things are uncertain, especially for the front line troops. It was a common practice for soldiers to write letters to family members and friends to be posted in the event that they died. If Andrew did the same what he would have written to his father?
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I should mention Maggie and Grace are the names I have given to Hugh Reid's daughters.

1940

For a long time Flight Lieutenant Andrew Foyle sat on his bunk, writing pad in his lap, pen held loosely in his hand staring off into the distance at something that only he could see. Finally he took a deep breath and began to write.

_Dear Dad,_

_Our first combat op is tomorrow! I can't believe it is finally here after all this time. We are all so excited to finally get in the air and give Jerry what-for! Wing Co has given us strict instructions to get a full nights sleep and make sure we have "our affairs in order." Which basically means making sure we have our letters written. It is very strange to be writing a letter I hope never gets posted._

_We don't really talk about it of course, but we all know that coming back isn't a guarantee. I truly hope everything goes well and I will see you in a few weeks when we get some leave. But just in case there are some things I want to make sure you know._

_I know I haven't always been the best son and I am sorry for all the worry I have caused you over the years. It was never my intention but as you know sometimes I'm not very good at stopping to think things through._

_One thing that I did think through though was my decision to join up. I know you weren't very happy about it but you must understand that I couldn't have stayed at Oxford with everything that is going on. I don't regret it Dad. I regret the worry I will have caused you but even if it costs me everything I know it was the right thing to do and I pray that the war will be a little shorter for what I have done._

_You have always said that the most important thing a man can understand is the difference between right and wrong and that a man must stand firm, regardless of the consequences, for things of true importance. You have spent your whole life living by these words and I hope that one day I might be half as good a man as you._

_If I must die to protect England from the Nazis then I will do so. I hope it never comes to that but I suppose if you are reading this it has. Do not blame the RAF Dad I made my own choices._

_I cannot begin to tell you how much I hate the idea of causing you pain. If it has come to this please promise me something Dad. Promise me that you will look after yourself. Please. Keep living and fishing and do try to smile now and then. Let Mr. and Mrs. Reid help and please keep an eye on Maggie and Grace for me. _

_You have always been my hero Dad and the best father I could have asked for. Thank you for everything._

_God bless and God speed,_

_Your loving son,_

_Andrew_

He re-read the letter several times before carefully folding it up and placing it in one of the envelopes beside him.

Half an hour later he had finished the other letter he needed to write and rising from his bunk with a sigh placed them carefully in the bottom of his locker where he knew they would be easy to find. He glanced around the barracks and then went out to get one last cup of tea before bed.

The End


	2. Chapter 2

May 1945

Andrew had been home for almost two weeks when Foyle finally suggested they go through his kit. When Andrew had first come home they had just dumped it in a corner of his bedroom. Foyle would have been content to leave it there but he knew it would need to seen to eventually and doing it sooner would save them from reopening partly healed wounds at a later date.

That is how he found himself digging through Andrew's kit bag on this rainy afternoon. He had sent Andrew to make tea, sensing that he needed a break from the memories that were suddenly filling the study.

Foyle had insisted on bring everything down to the study on the pretext of there being better light. In reality he didn't want Andrew to have to face these memories in his bedroom, he was having a hard enough time sleeping as it was.

His hand encountered something that felt a like a letter and he glanced down as he pulled a rather dirty envelope from the bag. He turned it over and was surprised to see his name written on the front in Andrew's distinctive hand.

_No letters for all those months, I ought to box his ears if he just forgot to post them!_ He hesitated for a minute but could still hear Andrew rattling around in the kitchen. _Suppose I could wait but it is addressed to me, best just see what it is, might be something Andrew would rather not think about just now. _Mind made up he carefully opened the letter and withdrew two sheets of slightly faded paper.

"_Dear Dad,_

_Our first combat op is tomorrow! I can't believe it is finally here after all this time. We are all so excited to finally get in the air and give Jerry what-for! _

Foyle frowned, his eyes flicking up to the top right hand corner to check the date, 1940. _Why on earth would Andrew have held on to a letter for this long?_

"_Wing Co has given us strict instructions to get a full nights sleep and make sure we have "our affairs in order." Which basically means making sure we have our letters written. It is very strange to be writing a letter I hope never gets posted."_ Foyle felt a sudden chill descend over his body as he realized what this was. It was the letter Andrew had written to him in case he died in combat.

Even as he listened to Andrew making a racket in the kitchen he felt an icy bolt of fear and pain rip through him, the letter in his shaking hand a heartbreaking reminder of how close he had come to losing his son.

For a long moment he hesitated, unsure if he wanted to read what could have been the last words he ever received from his son. He knelt there chewing his cheek for several minutes before taking a deep breath and returning his attention to the letter.

It wasn't very long and by the time Andrew came in with the tea tray Foyle had read it several times and tears were starting to blur his vision.

"I say there really is bugger all in the larder" Andrew announced as he entered the room. He froze as he noticed the tears in his father's eyes, "Dad? What is it?"

Foyle looked up and opened his mouth only to find that he was unable to say anything. Andrew watched him with growing concern. Quickly placing the tea tray on the desk he knelt beside his father and reached out to touch him gently on the shoulder, "Dad are you alright?"

Foyle nodded, blinking hard and that was when Andrew caught sight of the letter. "Oh Dad I'm sorry, I forgot that was in there. Look, don't worry about it alright? It was all for naught anyway, here I am."

Foyle nodded again, running a hand over his face as he fought for control of his emotions.

"It was all true you know." Andrew said softly after a minute, "I meant everything I said."

Foyle looked up and shook his head, "not all true" he rasped.

Andrew frowned looking a little offended, "I think I would know how I felt Dad!"

"Not what I meant." Foyle took a deep breath, "Andrew, I'm sorry that I ever gave you cause to think…" he broke off, glancing down for a minute before looking Andrew straight in the eye, "you are the best son I could have asked for Andrew. I wasn't upset that you joined up I was upset that you had to. I had so hoped," he swallowed hard, "that those years in France would have saved you from having to go to war yourself."

He studied his son, tears shining in his eyes, "I have never been anything but proud of you Andrew. I was proud of you when you were a boy and I am so very proud of the man you have become. I am sorry I ever gave you cause to doubt that."

Before he could go on Andrew wrapped his arms around him and buried his face in Foyle's neck. "Love you Dad."

Foyle could feel the tears dampening his collar and ran a gentle hand over the back of Andrew's head, "I love you too son." He murmured as he held his boy close and thanked God yet again for his safe return.

By the time they pulled away, their eyes were reddened and their tea was cold but some of the pain had lifted from their hearts.

"I prayed those letters would never get sent Dad, even as I carried them with me to every new posting."

Foyle nodded and then asked "letters?"

Andrew nodded, "I wrote to Uncle Charles and Auntie Alice, Mr. and Mrs. Reid as well as to the girls."

Foyle nodded again, _Of course he would have written to Alice and Charles and __Andrew has always seen the Reids as family, no surpise that he would have written to them as well_. He rose stiffly to his feet and held out a hand to help Andrew do the same. "Tea will be cold so what do you say we go around to the pub for lunch? We could stop at the market on the way back see if we can't do something about the state of the larder."

"Sounds good to me, certainly beats standing in a muddy creek, which is your usually solution to an empty larder."

"No one can ration what you catch yourself Andrew and with the amount you eat we might starve to death if I didn't know how to fish."

Andrew laughed, "I can't help it. I got used to them feeding us on base, you can't fly very well on an empty stomach after all."

"I'll take your word for it." Foyle replied, refraining from mentioning the fact that Andrew had lost at least 5lbs during the war.

Foyle had buttoned his coat while they were talking and now turned to grab his hat, "If you're ready I suggest we go, the rain appears to have stopped but heaven knows how long that will last."

Andrew nodded and they were soon making their way to the pub around the corner.


	3. Chapter 3

The idea of what Andrew might say to his aunt and uncle appealed to me so I thought I would add one more chapter. I hope you enjoy it :)

* * *

_1940_

_Dear Auntie Alice and Uncle Charles,_

_I'm sorry. If you are reading this letter then that is the first thing I need to say, I am so sorry for all the pain I will have inadvertently caused you. I had always planned to come home again but I suppose everybody does. If this is the cost of keeping Britain safe and defeating the Nazis though then I do not regret paying it. I regret the pain my death will cause and losing the time that I had hoped to spend with you but (Uncle Charles I know you will understand) sometimes we must serve a cause that is greater than ourselves. Freedom from Nazi rule is one such cause._

_I hardly know what to write. Thank you both for always treating me as your own, especially after Mum died. The weeks I spent with you in the summers have always remained some of my happiest memories. _

_Auntie Alice, thank you for always knowing when I needed a hug (even when I didn't know myself), for encouraging me to write and for everything in between, like teaching me to dance (sorry again for stepping on your toes so many times). _

_Uncle Charles, thank you for teaching me to swim and for always demonstrating through your actions how to be a true officer and a gentleman. Of all the men I have met, you and Dad have always been the men I admired most and strove to emulate. Thank you both for always telling me stories about Mum and thus ensuring that she was always part of my life, it helped more than I think you realize._

_I know Dad will take my death very badly and I regret the pain I will have caused him more deeply than I can explain. But I also know that you will both look after him for me, just as you did after Mum died, and for that I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I promise that I tried my hardest to come home to you all but if you are reading this then I suppose I wasn't successful. Please promise me that you will carry on and celebrate with the rest of Britain when Hitler is finally defeated. _

_Auntie Alice do you remember those fairytales you used to read me when I was little, where in the end the knight would ride off into the sunset? Please remember me like that, flying off into the sunset, for I can tell you honestly that flying is just as glorious as I imagined it would be all those years ago. So regardless of what the report says (yes Uncle Charles I know you will have read it) please ignore it, and think instead of me just flying off and forgetting to come home for tea. _

_Thank you for being the best uncle and aunt I could have ever asked for. God bless and God Speed (fair winds and following seas Uncle Charles),_

_Your loving nephew,_

_Andrew_

* * *

June 1945

The Howards' looked at each other and then at the young man who was sitting across from them with a worried expression on his face.

Andrew was studying his aunt and uncle carefully, Auntie Alice was clearly upset but Uncle Charles was much harder to read. He winced as he saw tears gathering in his aunt's eyes; this is what he'd been afraid of.

He hadn't planned on showing them the letter at all, but then Dad had found his when they were going through his kit and it had helped. In a way he had never expected it had helped to know that his father had read those words and knew how much he loved and respect him without the challenges of navigating such a conversation. It wasn't as if they never spoke of such things but it was still much easier to say some things in writing.

So when he had been packing the night before he had taken the slightly battered envelope that bore his aunt and uncle's address out of his desk and brought it with him. Now, as he allowed his aunt to pull him into a tight embrace, Andrew wasn't sure that showing it to them had been a good idea after all.

Charles Howard swallowed hard and then licked his lips but words continued to elude him as he watched Alice cry softly into Andrew's shoulder, if not for his years in the navy he imagined he would be tempted to do the same.

When Andrew said there was something he wanted to show them the last thing he had been expecting was to be handed the letter his nephew had written them in case he died in combat.

It was one thing to know how bloody lucky they were to have Andrew return home safely, and quite another to be handed a tangible example of how close they had come to losing him forever. He shivered at the thought and ran a hand over his face.

Howard had served during both wars although he had been, to his displeasure, on dry land for the entirety of this one. He knew how unspeakably awful war was and while he was very proud of Andrew for all he had done, he had also spent the entire war dreading the day he would see his nephew's name in the RAF casualty reports that he read daily.

Instead, by the grace of God, Andrew had come home alive and miraculously in one piece. Charles knew though that the mere fact that Andrew's limbs had remained intact did not mean he had come through the war unharmed. There were shadows in and under his eyes that spoke of sleepless nights and untold horrors. With all his heart Howard wished he could ease his nephew's mind but he knew, from his own experience, that only time could bring Andrew true peace.

"Please don't cry Auntie Alice" Andrew murmured as he held his aunt tightly, "I'm right here and you can see for yourself that I'm perfectly fine. I didn't show you that to make you cry, I just wanted to make sure you knew, well all of that."

Alice nodded and drew back reaching up to cup his cheek gently, "I know and I'm glad you felt you could show it to us. I'm so proud of you Andrew and so relieved to have you home again. I don't know what they were feeding you on those bases, you're far too thin."

Andrew chuckled at his aunt's indignation, "oh they fed us as well as they could Auntie Alice, not everyone can cook like you."

Alice gave a watery laugh, "Andrew Charles Foyle you really are incorrigible!"

Andrew grinned, "Does that mean I'm forgiven?"

"Of course you are! That was a beautiful letter, but I can't tell you how glad I am that it never got sent."

"I'm glad too Auntie Alice" Andrew whispered as he allowed his aunt to hold him close again.

After a minute Alice stepped back and wiped her eyes before looking at her husband, who had yet to speak. Charles was still holding the letter his eyes far away, and she got the feeling that he and Andrew might need a moment alone. Wiping her eyes once more she smiled at them and said, "I'll just go and fetch us some tea."

She squeezed Charles' arm as she went by and he answered her questioning look with a slight nod and a weak smile. Once they were alone Commander Howard took a deep breath and looked at his nephew, "that was quite the letter Andrew."

"It was all true Uncle Charles, I meant every word of it."

Charles nodded as he took a step forward and rested a warm hand on his nephew's shoulder, "I know you did Andrew, and I want you to know that I am so very proud of all you have done and the man you have become. Your mother would have been as well."

It was Andrew's turn to swallow hard and he ducked his head to hide the fact that he was blinking back tears, "thank you Uncle Charles, I like to think she would."

"Take my word for it Andrew, she would have been exceptionally proud of you, just as your father, aunt and I are."

"Thank you Sir."

Their voices were much rougher than either of them would admit and after a moments hesitation Charles pulled his nephew into his arms. It had been a long time since their last embrace and Howard was struck by how much taller Andrew had become in the intervening years. He also realized that Alice was right, the lad was far too thin.

He frowned stepping back and looking his nephew over from head to toe, "Alice is right, you do need some feeding up. Well at least you're in the right place for it. Now how many days did you say you were staying?'

"I thought maybe three or four, if that's all right with you and Auntie Alice."

"Of course it's all right. We're delighted to see you Andrew and you know you're always welcome. What sort of work are you looking for?"

"Depends on what's available of course but I'd like to try my hand at some writing if possible, see if I can't put those years at Oxford to good use."

Charles nodded and by the time Alice came back with tea they chuckling over stories of Andrew's Oxford days. She paused in the doorway for a moment suddenly overwhelmed with gratitude as she studied the two men before her.

She loved them both dearly and could have lost them so easily in this war and the last. Andrew's letter had been a heartbreaking reminder of that and she couldn't help whispering a prayer of thanks as she entered the room.

The End


End file.
